Unfortunately, I do not live in Kentucky, nor was I born there. Which is too bad; apparently, if you were ever even slightly famous in Kentucky you get a road named after you. In the last 3 days we have driven on: Bert T. Combs Parkway, Louie B. Nunn Parkway, The Russel S Dyche Memorial Highway, The Ronald Reagan Memorial Highway, The Wendell SomethingOrOther Parkway East (yes, there is a separate west version), and at least two others I can’t recall at the moment.
While I’m sure all of this is nice for the honoree (or their estates), it makes driving around The Commonwealth of Kentucky a pain in the ass. If someone has an especially long driveway, chances are there’s a 4 way stop at the end and a sign that says something like: The Senator Griffin H. Lombardo Memorial Circle Driveway, sponsored by the Estate of Chistopher P. Dunwitty and Associates. Now, this wouldn’t be so bad if it weren’t for the fact that your connecting road actually picked up a half mile down this guy’s drive and ran through his master bedroom. But, you didn’t go that way, because it took too long to read the stupid sign and you stayed the course.
If I ever die, I want to be buried in Kentucky and for there to be the following sign somewhere in the state:
The Blipey Scenic Mountain View Way and Coffee-Drinking Boulevard