That’s right; I am an Atomic Wing Survivor. Friday night we ate at the Pittsburgh location of Quaker Steak & Lube. I had the Atomic Wings, wings so hot you have to sign a waiver before they serve you. Why would I do such a thing? I’m pretty sure it’s because I have no one looking out for me; I certainly don’t. You may be wondering how hot Atomic Wings are and even if you aren’t I’m gonna let you know. Atomic Wings are rated somewhere in the neighborhood of 300,000 Scovilles. While certainly not the hottest things you can eat, these wings are right up near the limit of what sane people eat on purpose. As a loose comparison, Atomic Wings are around 75-85 times hotter than Tabasco Sauce.
I’ve eaten a lot of really hot things in my life (like Dave’s Ultimate Insanity Hot Sauce) with absolutely no ill effects. These wings made me a little shaky after 3 and slightly woozy after 4. The 5th one went down surprisingly easy and then I was–fortunately–done. By eating 5 in one sitting without: puking, passing out, or even sweating I am now up on the Wall of Flame. Take this opportunity to bow (or call me a moron).
Was it worth it? Well, I guess as a bragging sort of thing, but I can tell you I’m never doing it again.